Additional Explanation Traumasexuality
Men who are sexually abused as boys do not usually have a smooth journey in their sexual life. They often suffer from their own sexuality. There are many similarities between all these men. When they talk about their sexual life, similar themes emerge. They have the same complaints, the same life themes and dilemmas. There are a number of core sexual themes in which many variations can be perceived.
- Chronic confusion about their sexual identity
- Questions about their masculinity / own male body
- Questions about sexual roles male / female
- Sexual behavior patterns with addictive elements
- No control over their own sexual behavior
- Tendency towards self-obliteration through sex or submitting to the power of another person.
I discovered that these subjects are connected with each other. It is a very particular of expression of sexuality. It is a form of sexuality that is influenced by sexual experiences in childhood that have caused a shock or trauma in the body. It has yo do with the blending / merging of the sexuality of someone else who has penetrated you and your own sexuality. This creates contradictory feelings and it is difficult to separate what is your own and what belongs to the other.
I started to call this form of sexuality, traumasexuality and this is usually immediately accepted as a label. The term offers a way of understanding what you are suffering from.
Characteristics of traumasexuality
The perpetrator and his act are present in the sexual drives of someone who is traumasexual. Traumasex means: acting between your own sexuality and that of the perpetrator. The sexuality of the perpetrator has been invaded from outside by sexual contact at an early age. The individual sexuality that develops from within during puberty may sometimes exist in part. This can lead to a form of sexuality in which its own desire is contaminated by the earlier traumatic sexual experience. The other extreme also exists happily: the person’s own sexuality is predominant. There are many points on this continuum line from self to perpetrator sexuality. If this point is exactly in between, this causes apathetic sexuality.
Trauma sexuality has three main characteristics: These are the two-way sexual needs, the active victimization (in many ways, both self or of others): the recurrence of sexual trauma and the painful struggle associated with it and the inner fight around sexual and / or gender identity.